Can I Know You Again?

There is this space between us that cannot be held.
Not in our hands, not in our arms,
but in the words we don’t say to each other.

An unsaid silence settles
like something heavier than air.
We speak through it,
hoping sound can make it disappear.

This is the closest I have ever been to you,
yet also the furthest.

I know the way your voice changes
when you are tired.
The small habits you don’t notice,
the things you do without thinking.

I know the stories you tell,
and the ones you avoid.
The warmth of your laughter,
and the smile that follows it.

I think this is the most I have ever known you,
it’s definitely the longest.
And still,
I do not know what exists between us.

And maybe the hardest part is
not the distance, but not knowing

if there is something here we are both afraid to name,
or nothing at all
that was never really there.